Too Many Mind or (En)forcing My Inner Peace

Dear Readers,

I thought airing my grievances in story time for you would help me cope with some news I got today. It turns out that as I went on, I wanted to dip into further and further detail on the situation. As I went into detail, I knew how deeply it would hurt someone I dearly care for if I were to be so blunt or so flippant about dropping personal experiences and months of observations into the open.

I deleted it. It wasn't worth reading. Raw truth rarely is.



Some battles are worth fighting.
Some battles you must lose
So you don't lose
A much more worthwhile asset.
Tactical retreat,
If only for the sake
Of not burning bridges
Which would never be salvaged.

Sometimes I wish I weren't so observant.
I wish I could ignore facts.
Let things pass while
Everything in me wants to stand.
Wants to fight.
Wants to point out the unbound truth,
The things that neither my wrath
Nor their obsession can deny.

But I am just another number now.
I'm outside of the equation,
An imaginary variable,
Irrational and squared.
A now scribbled over line on a neglected page,
Crumpled up long ago,
Left to be stepped on occasionally
While the old clutter gathers dust.



Ugh, I'm so not in this mood. This mood is invading my space. I want so much to have this not bother me. It just came at me sideways today. I was neither expecting it, nor expecting my reaction. Which to me is weird, because I think of myself as deeply and tragically predictable.

My unimpeded, true feeling is gladness. My Love is coming to town in a week. I get to have her to myself for the following week. I'm really, truly happy with this upcoming time in my life.

Sleep now.

Renew tomorrow.

No mind.

Are You Watching Closely?